www.myboyfriendisatwat.com

Found this fantastic blog at the weekend which made me laugh so much - thanks Zoe. I think the title itself is genius. Perhaps it's being Polish that gives me such a love of no holds barred honesty. Here are the best bits which Zoe kindly said I could include but do check out Zoe's world yourself at http://www.myboyfriendisatwat.com/

"I'm a 40 year-old Brit living in Belgium with my 3 children who spend one week here, then one week with their Dad who lives with his girlfriend called Pretty Horrible Tits....Then there is Coralie, a 15 year-old stroppy little cow, her twin sister, Tatiana, who bosses the Twat and I around and winds up their brother Todd, an eleven-year old with the attention span of a goldfish."

"Andre is as lovely as ever, wearing half the clothes he intended to pack which means he is wearing three jumpers, a shirt and a t-shirt. His own private sauna. He told me all about his three-hour erection and has now disappeared with the Twat to examine the cheap tarts. Already."

and the quotes:

Me: "It feels like my wisdom tooth has popped up."
TT: "Well, it might 'uv done."
Me: "Yes, but wouldn't that hurt ? And I can't shut my jaw properly.'
TT: "When did you last try ?"

Me: "You know Quarsan, I'm not sure about going to Paris on my own."
TT: "Why not ? You could take Sue to 'La Musée d'Orsay'."
Me: "Hell no - you know what I'm like - I'd get lost."
TT: "Zoe, you never get lost. I've been asking you to for the past 3 years."

Me: "Q, you're not wearing those again today."
TT: "Why not ?"Me: "Because you love me, don't you ?."
TT: "Yes, but not enough to change my pants."

Me : "It's a candle in remembrance of all those people suffering and being tortured all around the world."
TT : "Yes, and I think of myself everyday."

TT : "Just reply to the Headmistress and tell her you've never heard of anyone called Coralie in your life before."

Me : "Q, I think you've lost your sense of humour."
TT : "Yes, I'm turning into a Feminist."

Me : "Why do you keep looking at my arse ?"
TT : "Because I'm sick of looking at your face."

Me : "For goodness sake, T, it'll be alright. I'm your mother."
TT : "Well that's not a very nice thing to tell her."