Monday, January 31, 2005

Tale of a contractor from a planet even weirder than mine

Marta... The contractor was a hoot - we think he was an alien sent to check out the humans. He asked the oddest questions and was uncomfortably personal. After the 2nd week I had to complain

Michael... who did you complain to? and what did he ask????

Marta... To his boss - the consultancy that provides him. Imagine this. He's in the thick of a deeply complex technical hand over with his agency boss and the guy he is replacing when suddenly he looks up and asks his boss "Mike, what shampoo do you use?" out of the blue

Marta... later that week while they walked into the canteen it was "Mike, do you have a tattoo?"

Michael... wow....

Marta... He asked Andy what he did to get such nice pecs and asked whether he'd considered modelling

Michael... what??????? jesus

Marta... With me it started with "your flat stomach - what do you do?" I wasn't aware of the other stuff going on as I had been out of the office and in meetings all the time

Michael... ;-) Obviously, an admirer

Marta... Then he kept going on about me being slim and then when no-one was around came up and asked did he have to do something with diet as well because I must be doing something special to have such a wonderul body, went on about my body and how great it was about 3 times, then asked had I ever been a model. Like you'd think he was in a bar and not talking to the person he reports to

Marta... So at this point I told him to get the fuck out of here. Yes I think that was my choice of words.

Marta... Then everytime I walked by he was staring at me and I thought I don't need this kind of attention. I was thinking twice about ever wearing a skirt above the knee or anything figure hugging to the office again. Perhaps a yashmak though

Michael... jesus... wow -- he has no clue!!!

Marta... I txted Andy who was on holiday and he said "Don't worry, he asked me the same thing and just wait until he asks about tattoos and piercings". I thought Andy was kidding. Well it made me feel better that I hadn't been singled out for attention but those who didn't get complimented felt quite left out at this stage

Michael... haahahahahahaha I bet

Marta... Poor Jo who is nearing retirement had him talking to her about plastic surgery

Michael... is he still working for you?

Marta... No, turns out he lied about having a work permit and on failing to show it Mike marched him off the premises. I have to say it was great having him here - you couldn't write the stuff he came out with and it's the most excitement geekville has had for years!



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