Last Tuesday afternoon my migraine lifted so I took myself to Wellington Park coz I can walk there without fear of being abducted by some weirdo etc. Nice grey day so only me and 2 anglers in the whole of this lakeside park. Wanted to walk there to have quiet, space and calm to decide what to do about where to live. If I lose my job (company downsizing with deep cuts) I won't be able to rent or buy because I won't have been in a job long enough or will be unemployed. Have been thinking of buying in Bournemouth too (so I can get a mortgage while still in a job and because I love it there) and wanted to have a clear head to figure out what I could afford as it looks like a big long slide down the salary scale for me if I go to live and work in Bournemouth and I don't want to have to fret over paying a big mortgage but of course want to live in an ok place so the park was the place to be to think it all over.
Was that the world's longest sentence?
Anyone would have thought I'd lost it or was back to being 10 years old. They have one of these wires you slide down on - a zipline ride. Usually you have to fight off kids to get on there but the whole place was empty so there I was Marta Zalewska person, disguised as a responsible adult, playing in the children's park and doing the wire as many times as I wanted. It occurred to me its like life. It's this fast thrilling ride and then all of a sudden you come to an obstacle which you hit hard and it sends you up in the air before hurtling backwards. I came off that thing laughing loads.
The next thing I did was go to the animal park but they only have birds there at the moment. I decided seeing these huge birds that I should confront my remaining bird phobia. They were Eastern European Owls called 'Bill and Ben' (crap name for such wonderful creatures) and I felt compelled to tell them I was also an Eastern European. And there I was talking to these two owls. Good job no-one was around. Walked round the lake - decided to buy a very very cheap one bedroom flat in Bournemouth (rent it out or do holiday letting while I work at X and long may that continue) if I can find one this Saturday (and I did - didn't post this for a while). Had a few more rides on the wire and went home having got my migraine back but feeling great all the same.
Definitely aged 32 going on 10.
Feeling bit low lately about work and roof over my head thing. Guess I need to look at it more positively. Getting quite freaked out by my operations (so soon now), hospitals, mortality and the fact that I may be helpless at home and mum can only take so much holiday. Back in my mind's eye standing on the moor miles from anywhere alone and in the grey drizzle. Need to think sunny thoughts. Yesterday it was so grey driving to work and I decided to overcome how grim it was with thoughts of sunny days driving by the sea in B'mouth and you know what - I made the sun come out. Yes, I'm sure that was all my doing.
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