A girl with a winky is a boy

Mum never fails to amaze me

1) She for the first time in 60 years has savings and then lends all of them to a nurse with a tall tale leaving the country but meant to come back and cash in some insurance policy to pay her back - yeah yeah yeah. I pray it happens but mum is too good for her own good. So I chastise her saying not to lend what she can't afford to give, especially as she has to replace the heating in her house soon.

2) She says she's going to have a new son-in-law soon. I wonder if she's arranging a marriage for me given I've decided to extend my 6 month period of being single to 5 years but no, she's talking about the cat like that's reassuring. She says this fluffy cat keeps coming around calling her cat. "I was outside in the garden and she (mum's cat) was following me. I saw her spray the wall and the other cat the fluffy tabby was meowing." Oh dear - I explained that her-spray was infact his-spray and her little female cat was in fact a dirty wall splattering Tom plus the one wailing outside was a her on heat.

Blackadder: "Lord be praised - a girl without a winkle. Then Thomas Cromwell pointed out that a girl without a winky is a boy"

3) The final joy in our telcon was me explaining my adoption thing (teenage girl/s from Poland) in defense of Mum's advice not to take on children because they'd be hassle and restricting. I tried to reason the importance and purpose in life of giving love, stability, security and a good life to someone who needs it and craves being part of a family. Her response was "Then why don't you build a granny annex and just adopt me?"

She must be the only woman who doesn't hamper for grandchildren - even complains when her partner's grandchildren stay for fear they'll break her best china and crystals. She brought me up with the mantra "Never get married. Never have children." yet is the kindest most generous most loving mother most have ever encountered.

Anyway I recently learnt that your giving birth is often like what your mother experienced. So I asked mum in thinking about adoption as a a single mother (given up on the idea of men - having a relationship would only be like taking on another responsibility in life and may as well be on my own - well unless I find someone capable of a contribution that somehow matches mine and by then I'd be too old to be a natural mother anyway) what her experience was like. "Well with Mark it was harder as he was the first. It was 10 hours of labour and enough to want to commit suicide. And he was one big baby". He still is. She also suffered toximia. Yes adoption then.