Returning from the interval my beautiful Miss Sixty Mucho Shagedelic Black Coat with Crazy Fur Trim is gone and I'm convinced my car keys were in the pocket. Dave says it may have been taken as part of the play. "Bloody teefing Catholics!" I say very loudly before realising they may not realise I am one and am taking the piss of myself. Loud embarassing outbursts can be good sometimes. I start to think of my friend Jon. One trip to the cinema the 2 most annoying women on the planet were yelling at the characters in the movie, talking to eachother, scraping the bottom of their pop corn bins and pissing everyone off. They ignored all the shhhing and polite pleas until Jon turned round and demanded "Shut up you stupid fat cows!". Oh by the way - so many fat kids in this panto. England is going to rack and ruin. Seriously now, the government really must akin to 'Menu del dia' in Spain make supermarkets sell affordable mixed packs of fruit 'n' veg. There are children in Scotland, I read, that don't know what many real fruits look like. Oranges for Xmas will be back soon!