You think I'm nuts? Armen's party schedule

Here's the party schedule sent by my Armenian ex-husband, who I remain good friends with, for his birthday this Saturday (I'm sure his English was better when we were together but that's the best bit of this email - he's certainly wilder!):


"Subject: Party schedule (do not open if you're not yet 16) (also I didn't send to work E-mails)

Hi there all,

I hope you’re fine and I trust you set for my and Scooby’s party, you got the presence right and looking forward for rock’n’roll, table dancing and wall-to-wall vomiting.

Right? Wong….

As I like structure and discipline and don’t like any surprises I’ve decided to provide you with the party schedule. Here is goes:

Party schedule for 29/01/2005

18:00 – Gests arrive; Armen and Scooby welcome guests and take the presences. Guests gather in the main room drink and talk nothing.
18:30 – Opening the presents. Shoving real and fake appreciation;
19:00 – Dinner;
19:30 – Everybody gets naked and covers into baby oil;
20:00 – Orgy
21:00 – Everybody has orgasm;
21:05 – Firework.
21:30 -23:00 free time.

I hope you’re enjoy the time! Looking forward seeing you soon!

Armen & Scooby"