Appreciation day and waffle

I’m going to start with my boyfriend. He’s in Oz visiting his sister but bless him, hauled in loads of mineral water so I wouldn’t have to lug it home from the supermarket without him around to help. He also got hold of some films I wanted to watch so I wouldn’t be at a loose end without him to amuse me.

One of said films was ‘Hannah and her sisters’. Thank you Woody Allen – you are a genius! I have collected my favourite lines from the film:

“Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands” E. E. Cummings

“This non person, this haircut that pretends to be a man” Hannah’s mother

“The only absolute knowledge attainable by man is that life is meaningless.” Tolstoy

“How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don’t even know how to use the can opener.” Mikey’s (Woody Allen’s) father

I’ve had lovely emails from some of my girlfriends today too. Sisterhood is wonderful. New Year was great spent with friends. Good friends you can rely on and cheer you on when you are down (rather than put you down) are so so important, whether male or female.

Something I am so glad I did end of 2004 was get back on good terms with my father, last seen acting like a complete psychopath while I was a teenager, after 14 years of no contact of my own volition, creation and policing. When my brother said dad and his partner were considering buying a place in Crete, it dawned on me that maybe he was normal and like other people’s parents. And he is and entertaining and kind. Well not that normal but his funny East European man quirks are what make him endearing. It’s interesting to discover things we have in common like being freeze-a-lots (always feeling the cold first) and that we both save cuttings from magazines and newspapers to do something with these valuable nuggets sometime but never do. A lot can change in 14 years. Even I can forget the past and just enjoy the now.

At work I’ve found a great connection with some of my colleagues from HR – it’s so good to speak to someone on the same wavelength. And let’s face it I am so odd, that’s difficult for me to find. In fact I have now come to wonder why is it that I go to such lengths to be different and then feel horrible being an alien amongst certain groups. Why do I feel like a fish in water at a gay disco but am in a permanent sate of horrification when at a typical hetero Kevin and Sharon club. Christ on a bike! – don’t they look in the mirror before leaving the house? May be I just need to avoid those groups. Obviously too pedestrian for me. I like to fly and not always in my UFO from Planet Marta.

I stayed at my friend J’s the other night partly to catch up and partly to stave off the pining for lost penguin (boyfriend reference). I had this dream I could fly and was flying a lot. It was wonderful and I was so convinced on getting out of bed, I tried to fly but just landed back on the bed. 10 out of 10 for effort and belief Marta. 5 stars! Could have made a nasty crack in J’s wall though, had I been successful. You see - sometimes failure has its positives. Yes I will be more positive this year.