Thursday, March 02, 2006
Venice Carnival - probably the best trip in the world!
Venice was fabulous with a capital F A B U L O U S and many !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Beautiful city, sunshine daily, fun and good company from my friend Ewa, great cheap food in restaurants where locals go, 40% of people on the street in some kind of costume (us too) and 5% in full impressive costume - real enchanting atmosphere and buzz. Probably best trip ever. It had everything and we loved boating from one place to another. Feet hurt from all the walking and clicked out over 1000 pics which I will be only be showing the best of, so don't worry. It was very European sophisticated unlike the drunken fat bastards on the streets of New Orleans Mardi Gras - in fact only after Carnival was finished did we see anyone drunk i.e. two men having trouble walking and we commented to eachother in Polish - they replied in Polish!
The wonderful hotel is the best I've been in - www.hotelsantelena.com. It's on the last connected island to the East of St Mark's Square and in the garden of Venice which is peaceful. You can take a Vaporetto (water bus) or walk 30 minutes along the waterway with parks on one side and just the most stunning view ahead of you of all the major Venice attractions. My god - when we turned the corner to see Venice laid out for us our hearts just leapt.
We overlooked the garden looking out to a canal and had two balconies. The room was modern and bright with high ceilings. We had cool touches like the wardrobe light coming on when you opened the door. We lounged on the sofa and felt we could have stayed happily for months there. The dining room was modern elegant with breakfast to die for - it was like breakfast at Prada! Service was top notch and when we returned from dinner they had washed up our cups and laid out the bath mat. First we thought the scary masks (there's no expression except a fixed serious one) had come to life!
Yesterday a water taxi (which is a much faster elegant wooden small boat) was provided courtesy of the glass factory on Murano and we were whizzed off there to see them making the glass and be talked through it. Then the manager took us up to the show room and warned us to be careful on the still in construction stairs but Ewa assured him we are quite acrobatic! He walked us round the Aladdin's cave of their pieces which was stunning and derserving to be classed as art and put in the Victoria & Albert. I wished I was wealthy (like the Texan lady in the shop who when looking for a piece in green was asked "Green like emerald?" and she replied laughing "Green like money!") and had the house to show off such sculptures and wonderful things. In the shop I bought a fabulous ring and earrings - all I could afford alas. I love glass art and Murano was full of it. Later we chanced upon a very nice shop where I got a lovely lime green leather brief style handbag for work. That was my Venice shopping. We window shopped and were discussing that Gucci bags were supposed to be cheaper if bought in Italy and then laughed at ourselves that this was like discussing whether the price of yachts fell.
Twas cold and not sure if it was the air con too but my sinuses are giving me hell. Good job I can sort them out lying in the sun by the Red Sea damn soon :-)
Beautiful city, sunshine daily, fun and good company from my friend Ewa, great cheap food in restaurants where locals go, 40% of people on the street in some kind of costume (us too) and 5% in full impressive costume - real enchanting atmosphere and buzz. Probably best trip ever. It had everything and we loved boating from one place to another. Feet hurt from all the walking and clicked out over 1000 pics which I will be only be showing the best of, so don't worry. It was very European sophisticated unlike the drunken fat bastards on the streets of New Orleans Mardi Gras - in fact only after Carnival was finished did we see anyone drunk i.e. two men having trouble walking and we commented to eachother in Polish - they replied in Polish!
The wonderful hotel is the best I've been in - www.hotelsantelena.com. It's on the last connected island to the East of St Mark's Square and in the garden of Venice which is peaceful. You can take a Vaporetto (water bus) or walk 30 minutes along the waterway with parks on one side and just the most stunning view ahead of you of all the major Venice attractions. My god - when we turned the corner to see Venice laid out for us our hearts just leapt.
We overlooked the garden looking out to a canal and had two balconies. The room was modern and bright with high ceilings. We had cool touches like the wardrobe light coming on when you opened the door. We lounged on the sofa and felt we could have stayed happily for months there. The dining room was modern elegant with breakfast to die for - it was like breakfast at Prada! Service was top notch and when we returned from dinner they had washed up our cups and laid out the bath mat. First we thought the scary masks (there's no expression except a fixed serious one) had come to life!
Yesterday a water taxi (which is a much faster elegant wooden small boat) was provided courtesy of the glass factory on Murano and we were whizzed off there to see them making the glass and be talked through it. Then the manager took us up to the show room and warned us to be careful on the still in construction stairs but Ewa assured him we are quite acrobatic! He walked us round the Aladdin's cave of their pieces which was stunning and derserving to be classed as art and put in the Victoria & Albert. I wished I was wealthy (like the Texan lady in the shop who when looking for a piece in green was asked "Green like emerald?" and she replied laughing "Green like money!") and had the house to show off such sculptures and wonderful things. In the shop I bought a fabulous ring and earrings - all I could afford alas. I love glass art and Murano was full of it. Later we chanced upon a very nice shop where I got a lovely lime green leather brief style handbag for work. That was my Venice shopping. We window shopped and were discussing that Gucci bags were supposed to be cheaper if bought in Italy and then laughed at ourselves that this was like discussing whether the price of yachts fell.
Twas cold and not sure if it was the air con too but my sinuses are giving me hell. Good job I can sort them out lying in the sun by the Red Sea damn soon :-)
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Rising vets bills joke
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, but your duck, Cuddles, has passed away. The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on it's haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150.00."
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Overheard in New York
A fab website was recommended to me by Suna. Real life is better than TV.
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Funnies sent to me by O and the differences between men and women
To the men reading this - I know you can handle it.
Eight Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND;
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to putin it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I siton the sofa and fart!
He said . . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . .. I would but you're never there.
She said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good- looking?
He said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.
She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is everynight?
He said . . . A widow.
He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go tobed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Eight Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing cricket without a box.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND;
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to putin it.
She said . . . You wear pants don't you?
He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I siton the sofa and fart!
He said . . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . .. I would but you're never there.
She said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good- looking?
He said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.
She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is everynight?
He said . . . A widow.
He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go tobed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
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